Noticing changes in someone you love can be unsettling. Perhaps your mum has been forgetting appointments she would never have missed before, or your dad seems confused about familiar places. Maybe a close friend is struggling to find the right words in conversation, or a partner is becoming increasingly withdrawn. These moments can leave you feeling worried, uncertain, and wondering whether something more serious might be happening. 

If you’re concerned that someone close to you might have dementia, you’re not alone. Around 944,000 people in the UK are currently living with dementia, and many more families are navigating the early stages of recognising symptoms and seeking support. Understanding what to do next can feel overwhelming, but taking those first steps doesn’t have to be daunting. This guide will help you understand the signs to look for, how to approach sensitive conversations, and what practical steps you can take to support your loved one. 

Recognising the Early Signs of Dementia 

Dementia isn’t simply about forgetting where you left your keys or occasionally losing track of what day it is. We all have moments like these, particularly when we’re tired or stressed. Dementia symptoms are different because they’re persistent, they worsen over time, and they begin to interfere with daily life in noticeable ways. 

The early signs of dementia can vary considerably depending on the type of dementia and which parts of the brain are affected. The four most common types are Alzheimer’s disease, vascular dementia, dementia with Lewy bodies, and frontotemporal dementia, each presenting slightly different patterns of symptoms. 

Memory and Cognitive Changes 

Memory loss is often the most recognised symptom, but it’s important to understand what this really means. Someone with dementia might forget recent conversations or events entirely, not just the minor details. They may ask the same question repeatedly within a short space of time, or struggle to recall information they learned recently whilst having clear memories of events from decades ago. 

Beyond memory, you might notice problems with thinking and reasoning. Your loved one might find it difficult to follow a conversation or struggle with tasks that require planning and organisation. Something as familiar as following a recipe they’ve made hundreds of times, managing household bills, or working out the right change in a shop might suddenly become challenging. 

Communication Difficulties 

Changes in communication can be subtle at first. Someone with dementia might struggle to find the right word, substituting it with something that doesn’t quite fit, or they may lose their thread mid-sentence. Following or joining in conversations, especially in group settings, might become noticeably more difficult. They may withdraw from social situations they once enjoyed simply because communication has become exhausting or frustrating. 

Disorientation and Confusion 

Becoming confused about time or place is another significant indicator. This goes beyond forgetting what day of the week it is. Someone with dementia might lose track of dates, seasons, or the passage of time. They might forget where they are or how they got there, even in familiar surroundings. Getting lost in places they know well, such as their own neighbourhood or even their home, can be particularly distressing for everyone involved. 

Changes in Mood and Behaviour 

Dementia doesn’t only affect memory and thinking. Many people experience changes in their mood, personality, or behaviour. Someone who was once outgoing might become withdrawn and lose interest in hobbies and social activities. Others might become uncharacteristically irritable, anxious, or suspicious. They may seem depressed, frightened, or easily upset, particularly in situations where they feel out of their depth. These emotional changes can be just as significant as cognitive symptoms. 

Difficulties with Daily Tasks 

Familiar everyday tasks might start to become problematic. This could include getting dressed, preparing meals, managing personal hygiene, or handling familiar technology like the television remote or mobile phone. Someone with dementia might struggle with visual and spatial abilities, making tasks like judging distances or distinguishing colours more difficult. 

Trust Your Instincts 

If you’re noticing several of these signs persisting over time, it’s important to trust your instincts. You know your loved one better than anyone else, and if something feels different or wrong, that feeling is worth paying attention to. Many families later reflect that they’d noticed subtle changes months or even years before diagnosis, but initially dismissed them as normal ageing or stress. 

It’s equally important to recognise that not all memory problems indicate dementia. Other factors such as stress, depression, medication side effects, vitamin deficiencies, thyroid problems, or infections can cause similar symptoms. This is precisely why seeking a proper medical assessment is so important. 

Understanding Dementia: Knowledge Is Power 

If you’re trying to understand more about dementia, what it means, and how it affects people, taking time to learn can help you feel more prepared and confident in supporting your loved one. Understanding the condition helps you recognise what they’re experiencing and respond with greater empathy and patience. 

There are many excellent resources available to help you learn about dementia. We have our own Dementia Awareness trainer at All About Home Care and have created the following helpful awareness video, we have gathered our knowledge into the following Dementia Awareness Video that explains the condition in clear, accessible terms and offers practical guidance for families navigating this journey. 

Watching resources like this together with family members can help ensure everyone has a shared understanding and feels equipped to provide consistent support. 

How to have the conversation about Dementia 

Once you’ve decided to raise your concerns, the next challenge is often knowing how to start the conversation. Talking about potential dementia with someone you love requires sensitivity, patience, and care. This can be one of the most difficult conversations you’ll ever have, but it’s also one of the most important. 

Choose the Right Time and Place 

Timing matters enormously. Choose a time when your loved one is relaxed, not rushed, and when you won’t be interrupted. A quiet, comfortable setting where they feel safe is ideal. Avoid raising your concerns during or immediately after a particularly difficult moment, as emotions may be running high. 

Approach with Compassion 

Start gently and express your concerns from a place of love and support. You might say something like, “I’ve noticed you’ve been having some trouble remembering things recently, and I’m a bit worried about you. Have you noticed this too?” This opens the door for them to share their own experiences and feelings. 

Many people with early dementia are aware that something isn’t right, even if they haven’t voiced it. They may feel relieved to finally talk about what they’ve been experiencing. Others might feel defensive, frightened, or dismiss your concerns entirely. All of these reactions are completely normal and understandable. 

Listen and Validate 

Give them space to talk about how they’re feeling. They might be scared, angry, or in denial. Listen without judgement and acknowledge their feelings. Avoid minimising their concerns or jumping straight to solutions. Sometimes, people just need to be heard. 

Focus on Getting Support 

Frame the conversation around getting help and support rather than immediately talking about diagnoses or outcomes. You might suggest seeing the GP together, describing it as a routine check-up or as a way to rule out other treatable conditions. Emphasise that you’ll be there to support them every step of the way. 

What If They Refuse? 

If your loved one refuses to acknowledge there’s a problem or won’t agree to see a doctor, try not to force the issue immediately. Give them time to process the conversation, and revisit it gently after a few days or weeks. Sometimes it helps if the suggestion comes from someone else they trust, such as another family member or close friend. 

In situations where someone lacks capacity to make decisions about their own care and there are serious safety concerns, you may need to speak with their GP or social services for guidance on the best way forward. 

Visiting the GP: What to Expect 

Getting a proper medical assessment is the essential first step towards understanding what’s happening and accessing appropriate support. Encourage your loved one to book an appointment with their GP, and offer to go with them if they’d like the support. 

Preparing for the Appointment 

Before the appointment, it can be helpful to write down the symptoms you’ve noticed, when they started, and how they’re affecting daily life. Include specific examples rather than general observations. Note any medications they’re taking, as some drugs can affect memory and cognition. If your loved one is comfortable with it, you might also want to note any family history of dementia. 

During the Appointment 

The GP will typically ask about the symptoms, their duration, and any impact on daily functioning. They’ll likely conduct some cognitive tests, which might include questions about memory, attention, and problem-solving. These tests are simple and non-invasive, designed to provide an initial assessment of cognitive function. 

The doctor will also conduct a physical examination and may arrange blood tests to rule out other conditions that can cause similar symptoms, such as vitamin B12 deficiency, thyroid problems, or infections. It’s important to remember that these initial tests are just the beginning of the diagnostic process, not the final answer. 

Referral to Specialist Services 

If the GP suspects dementia, they’ll typically refer your loved one to specialist memory services. This might be a memory clinic, a community mental health team for older people, or a neurologist. The waiting time for these appointments can vary, but many areas in the UK offer relatively prompt assessments. 

The Diagnostic Process 

The specialist assessment is more comprehensive than the initial GP visit. It typically involves more detailed cognitive testing, a thorough medical history, and often brain imaging such as an MRI or CT scan. These scans help identify any physical changes in the brain and rule out other conditions such as strokes or tumours. 

A specialist diagnosis can take time, sometimes requiring multiple appointments over several weeks or months. This waiting period can be difficult, but it ensures that the diagnosis is as accurate as possible. The increased understanding of the various forms of dementia means that specialists can now identify specific types and provide more targeted support and information. 

Understanding the Diagnosis 

If dementia is diagnosed, the specialist will explain which type it is, what to expect, and discuss treatment options and support available. This appointment is an opportunity to ask questions, so it can be helpful to prepare a list beforehand. You might want to ask about the likely progression, available medications, what support services exist, and practical steps you can take. 

Receiving a dementia diagnosis is understandably distressing for everyone involved. Allow yourselves time to process the news, and remember that support is available. Many people find it helpful to hear others’ experiences, and organisations like the Alzheimer’s Society offer valuable resources and support groups. 

What Support Is Available? 

Once a diagnosis has been made, it’s important to know that you’re not on your own. There’s a wide range of support available to help your loved one live well with dementia and to support you as a family member or carer. 

Medical Treatment and Management 

Depending on the type and stage of dementia, medication may be available to help manage symptoms. For Alzheimer’s disease, drugs such as donepezil, rivastigmine, and galantamine can help with memory and thinking in some people. For later stages, memantine may be prescribed. While these medications don’t cure dementia or stop its progression, they can help maintain cognitive function for a period of time. 

Beyond medication, maintaining physical health, staying mentally and socially active, and eating a balanced diet can all contribute to wellbeing and may help slow the progression of symptoms. 

Accessing Care and Support Services 

Professional care and support can make an enormous difference to quality of life for both the person with dementia and their family. Home care services can provide support with daily tasks, personal care, companionship, and specialist dementia care designed around your loved one’s specific needs. 

By stepping inside your loved one’s world and understanding their unique experience of dementia, professional carers can provide truly person-centred care. This tailored approach helps maintain independence, dignity, and quality of life while enabling people to remain in the comfort and familiarity of their own home, which can be enormously beneficial for those living with dementia. 

Many people prefer to remain in their own home where they feel most comfortable and surrounded by their memories, routines, and possessions. Familiar surroundings can reduce anxiety and confusion, whilst professional support ensures safety and provides families with peace of mind. 

If you’re exploring care options, at All About Home Care offer free, no-obligation assessments to understand your loved one’s needs and discuss how they can help. This initial conversation can help you understand what support might look like, whether that’s a few hours of companionship each week, help with personal care, or more comprehensive support. Many families find that even having this conversation and knowing support is available brings enormous relief. 

Community Resources and Support Networks 

Numerous organisations offer invaluable support, information, and guidance. The Alzheimer’s Society provides extensive resources, local support groups, and a helpline where you can speak to trained dementia advisers. Dementia UK offers specialist Admiral Nurses who provide expert practical and emotional support to families affected by dementia. 

Local authorities often have dementia support workers who can help you navigate services, access financial support, and connect with community resources. Many areas also have dementia cafes where people with dementia and their carers can meet others in similar situations in a relaxed, social setting. 

Support for Carers 

Caring for someone with dementia can be physically and emotionally demanding. It’s crucial that you look after your own wellbeing too. Respite care gives you the opportunity to take a break whilst knowing your loved one is being cared for safely. Whether you need a few hours a week or more regular support, professional home care agencies can provide trained carers who understand dementia and can step in to give you that essential time to rest and recharge. 

Many families find that having regular respite care not only supports them as carers but also benefits their loved one, who enjoys the stimulation and companionship of a professional carer. The continuity of having the same carer visit regularly can provide reassurance and build trusting relationships. 

Carer support groups, counselling services, and organisations like Carers UK offer support specifically for family carers. Don’t underestimate the importance of maintaining your own health, interests, and social connections. You can’t pour from an empty cup, and taking care of yourself enables you to continue caring for your loved one. 

For those living with Dementia in Kent, it is possible to get funded respite care through an organisation called Involve. It is worth getting in touch with them to see what funding is available for you. 

Planning for the Future 

Whilst it can feel overwhelming to think about the future when you’re still processing the present, early planning can make things easier as the condition progresses. This is where professional support can be particularly valuable. Care agencies that specialise in dementia support can help you think through your options and plan for changing needs over time, ensuring that appropriate care is in place when you need it. 

Legal and Financial Matters 

It’s important to address legal and financial planning whilst your loved one still has the capacity to make decisions. This might include setting up a Lasting Power of Attorney for both health and welfare decisions and financial matters. This legal document allows someone trusted to make decisions on their behalf if they lose capacity in the future. 

Reviewing finances, understanding what benefits or financial support might be available, and considering care costs are all practical steps worth taking. Experienced home care providers can often guide you through these considerations, helping you understand your options and what different levels of care might involve. The Money Advice Service and Age UK provide helpful guidance on financial planning and benefits for people with dementia. 

Discussing Wishes and Preferences 

Having open conversations about your loved one’s wishes and preferences for future care can be invaluable. What matters most to them? Where would they like to be cared for? Are there specific routines or activities that bring them comfort or joy? Understanding and documenting these preferences helps ensure their voice is heard even if they’re unable to communicate clearly later on. 

Creating a Support Network 

Dementia care works best when there’s a team approach. This might include family members, friends, neighbours, professional carers, healthcare professionals, and community support. Working together and communicating openly helps ensure consistent, coordinated care and prevents any one person from becoming overwhelmed. 

Living Well with Dementia 

It’s important to remember that a dementia diagnosis isn’t the end of living a fulfilling life. Many people with dementia continue to enjoy meaningful activities, maintain relationships, and experience joy and contentment. The key is adapting to changing abilities and focusing on what the person can still do rather than what they’ve lost. 

Maintaining familiar routines can provide structure and comfort. Encouraging involvement in enjoyable activities, whether that’s listening to favourite music, going for walks, gardening, or looking through photo albums, helps maintain wellbeing and quality of life. Social connection remains vital, so continuing to include your loved one in family activities and conversations matters enormously. 

Initiatives such as Dementia Friendly Communities are encouraging greater understanding within wider communities, helping to create dementia-friendly environments where people feel supported and included rather than isolated. At All About Home Care, we support and take our clients to the Tonbridge and Tunbridge Wells Dementia Friendly Community and the Forget Me Not Cafés and some clients have been part of the Forget Me Not Chorus.